Tuesday, February 10, 2009

What is wrong with people?

Seriously, what is wrong with them? We're they not loved enough as children? Did no one ever teach them manners? Did they even have to learn the rules of the road before they got behind the wheel of a car?

I was walking to work on Friday and I crossed the street to my building via a crosswalk. There was a car coming but, based on both our speeds, I knew I would be out of his path before he got to me. I could have been evil and walked slower. He was easily going over the speed limit. But I hurried my way across. Then, as I'm stepping on the curb and he is behind me, he honks! He honks at me, a PEDESTRIAN walking across the CROSSWALK!

A quote from the Illinois Rules of the Road:

White Crosswalk Lines
White crosswalk lines are painted across the entire width of the pavement. Sometimes the inside area is marked with white diagonal lines for added visibility. Pedestrians in crosswalks have the right-of-way over motor vehicles. Crosswalks are sometimes in the middle of the block and, in this case, a pedestrian crossing sign is located at the white lines.

I (the pedestrian) have the right-of-way over your motor vehicle, MOFO! I should have stopped in front of your car and spit on the hood.

I had finally gotten over my rage at this person (not really, but let's just say) when we made a family trip to IKEA on Saturday.

In case you've never been, once you exit the building with all your large rectangular boxes, you can pull your car up to the loading zone and put everything in there. Well I drive into the loading zone area and I'm pulling up to the spot where all out stuff is waiting and this moron behind me pulls out of her spot and starts tailgating me....in the 5 MPH LOADING ZONE.

Well someone was loading their kids up in the car next to our preferred spot and had the door opened so, once I stopped the car for a split second, I decided this was going to take a while and I would just go up a few spaces instead. So I pulled up, put the car in reverse, and this assclown is still all tailgating me....IN THE LOADING ZONE. Once again, I could have taken my sweet time. But I didn't. I hurriedly put the car in reverse and backed into the spot. I don't like to toot my own horn but I'm fast and accurate when backing up.

So what happens when the tailgater can finally get around me? She HONKS! She honks at me in the 5 mph loading zone! I hope you die a horrible, long, painful death IKEA honker. And I hope no one comes to your funeral. I hope they bury your casket in the corner of the cemetery under the highway billboard sign, next to drainage ditch. And then I hope there is a flood and your casket is unearthed and strew open and your decayed remains are taken away by wolves. And I hope your new bookshelf is missing parts and you have to go back and stand in the line at the service counter to get replacements.


At 2/11/2009 3:23 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL. You have issues.

At 2/11/2009 3:49 PM , Anonymous Murphy said...

I've decided that most people who breathe are morons and they shouldn't be left to mingle with other humans. Honkers, be damned!

At 2/11/2009 3:51 PM , Blogger Mrs. Red said...

No freaking kidding!! People like that make me want to keep a paint ball gun in my car so I can shoot at them. I should probably warn them with a bumper sticker though, huh?

At 2/11/2009 4:31 PM , Anonymous la said...

I personally think they should remove the horn from all motor vehicles. All it does is blare "I'M MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU!!"

At 2/11/2009 4:59 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are funny and also the only reason i joined this blog.. great stuff!!

At 2/12/2009 11:19 AM , Blogger Jess said...

This is why we should all carry raw meat around with us. Person being a raging ass? Throw raw meat on their windshield and maybe in their window, just for good measure.

At 2/13/2009 9:32 AM , Blogger Ryan said...

Yes. Meat throwing should be legalized.

At 3/28/2009 3:33 PM , Blogger lovemom said...

Ryan.........I don't think I let you vent enough when you were little.....you used to be such a quiet nice child.......I always hoped the world wouldn't treat you badly......I bet these were people from Jimmy Rueffer's family still trying to torment you!!!


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