Saturday, September 29, 2007

Awesomeness

I have been asked why I haven't posted another awesomeness yet. Friends, you cannot force the awesomeness. You have to wait for it to slink out from the shadows. Sure, silly things happen on a day to day basis. But true awesomeness comes along only once every few weeks.

I will, however, relent. This one is awesomeness from many months ago...

I got a call one day from a doctor's secretary saying that the doctor was having problems with his monitor and that it was sideways. That was the first time I had heard that complaint and there was no way I was going to try to talk through this one on the phone. I had to see it for myself. So I walk down to the doc's office. As I walk in he pronounces, "So what do you think of that!" Sure enough, the windows logon screen was sideways...up and down. I, of course, wanted to just turn the monitor on its side and walk away but I restrained myself. It was quite humorous though. I logged in...sideways...and made my way to the display settings...sideways. Your natural inclination is to turn your head to the side so you can move the mouse not like a gimp. But then you look like a gimp for real. So I fought the urge and manage to get into the advanced video settings...sideways. For some weird reason, this particular brand of Intel video card lets you rotate the screen in increments of 90 degrees. Seems silly but maybe people like mounting their monitors on the ceiling. I don't know. At any rate I set the stupid thin back to zero degrees and we were back in business. How the doctor managed to change the advanced video card settings though, I don't know. Awesomeness.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Awesomeness

I am going to start a new segment I would like to call "Awesomeness." Now I KNOW not everyone has a computer science degree. I know we computer people have all sorts of crazy lingo and short-speak. And I swear I am not one of those arrogant computer guys. But sometimes my users just ask me the most awesomeness questions. And so now I will share the first one with you:

The woman just walked in and asked if we had an extra "stand for her modem." I was confused because no one in the department has modems anymore. After showing her our wall of computer parts, we deduced that when she says "modem" she was, of course, referring to her computer tower. Awesome!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Appearance Fee

People have been talking a lot in the news about how celebrities make all this money just for showing up at a club on opening night. $100,000 here. $400,000 there. I wonder if I could apply this to my life on a much smaller scale.

You want me to show up for your disaster planning meeting? $5.
You want me to eat lunch with you? $15 and you buy.
You want me to install new AA batteries in your wireless keyboard? 1 Take Five bar.

I'm probably not that popular yet but I don't know. I did get a free bottle of water today at one of the meetings I attended. That's like $1.25.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Have you seen this?



Are they serious? Do cats really use this? I know ours wouldn't. There would just be a ring of poop on the floor all around this thing. And then I would have to pick it all up and put it in the ol' cat genie myself because that would be my new purpose in life. Then I'm sure I'd have to stick my fingers in the thing to pretend I'm kitty feet so the thing would flush or whatever you call it. Maybe its called "culling the poop." How magical.