Friday, April 27, 2007

A remarkable discovery!

Friends. You are about to see something few humans ever have. I have been many places across this vast world of ours: London, Atlanta, Cicero. I have seen strange creatures and alien objects. But today I will show you my latest and rarest find. You may wish to sit down prior to continuing as people with weak constitutions may find the following images quite graphic. And now, without further adou, I present to you:

The Pygmy Packing Peanut of Paraguay




At first glance it looks like an ordinary packing peanut. It has the same familiar s-curve and ridges as its North American relatives. But when you compare its size and weight to its surroundings, one can easily tell it is much smaller and more dense then its big brother.



Behold the way it holds it shape. It has traveled great distances and been thrown about by careless package handlers and yet it still maintains its perfect shape. As I mentioned before it is also much more ridged then the large packing peanut. While larger peanuts can shrink up to 1/4th their size, the pygmy's size is fixed. Any attempt to squish or stretch this tough little guy is a futile attempt. Observe how Abraham Lincoln cowers in his presence:



I was astonished to find such a excellent specimen here in my own condo in Chicago's Lincoln Park. Why Amazon.com would foolishly send me such a rarity in the field of packaphology is beyond me but there loss is my gain. It shall be place prominently next to my Klingon head mold.

If you wish to donate any funds to the future pygmy peanut endowment fund, you can send your paypal payments to ryan@landek.com. Thank You.